Oh, Hello Omelet!

I am eating an omelet, because I took the opportunity to build one for myself, for the narrow and highly specific purpose of eating. For myself. Yes. Indeed.


I used the three egg whites leftover from a recent batch of spaghetti carbonara, plus one whole egg. For the pan, I used my husband's gorgeous iron skillet:


(Skillet glamor shot intended to evoke a dark moon rising over a distant planet.)

For the oil, with which the pan was greased, I used olive oil because that's what we have 'round this here kitchen.

For the cheese, I used Tillamook smoked black pepper white cheddar cheese. Not all omelets use cheese, but mine typically do because I love cheese.


For the non-cheese, I used flat leaf parsley and green onion, because those are the fresh herbs that I had in my fridge at the time.


The eggs were only lightly whipped, and they barely filled the pan, so the omelet itself is thin--nearly the size and shape of a tortilla. While not the heartiest omelet of my life (four egg whites to one yolk), it is certainly greasy, flavorful and cheering. A perfect way to prepare for a day of hard work.

Huzzah, omelet!

Curbing A Murderous Sweet Tooth vol. 1 Simmered Apples

If you're like me (and because I have a somewhat limited imagination, I assume everyone is), you have a commanding sweet tooth that demands grim, sugary satisfaction beyond anything a human frame can safely consume.

Rather than fully re-orchestrate your palate to suit your true medical needs, compromises are sought. What can be eaten or be otherwise placed in the mouth that will reach that magical sensation of "eh, good enough" while leaving the mind and body intact?!?!?!?!

THIS is the subject of my "Curbing A Murderous Sweet Tooth" series.

Volume 1:
Simmered Apples

Apples aren't as cheap as I like to be when it comes to food, but an apple every now and then can fit between even tightly pinched pennies. (Wait, that metaphor doesn't make any sense...)

I'm partial to Fuji and Pink Lady apples, and Honeycrisp when they're on sale. I'm fairly certain that today's apple is either Fuji or Honeycrisp.

What I Did




I quartered my apple so the core could be easily removed--almost scooped out of each quarter--with a paring knife.

I trimmed the knobby ends off of each apple quarter and ate them. This was a good idea. In fact, if I were as cool as my husband (with regard to fresh fruit) I would have stopped at this step and just eaten the apple. But I am not, at least not today. I needed, I NEED, to be reminded of pastry. At least a little more than what fresh fruit can do for me this afternoon.

With the knobby ends gone, I was free to make thin little slices of apple, as is visible in the photo. This is a simple recipe that I'm sure everyone already uses an adaptation of, but the thinness of the slices are what lend it a refreshing novelty. Show off. You can be lazy in many areas of life and I will still love you. But for your own dignity and mine, don't neglect this step. Make thin slices of apple.

I layered the slices in a ramekin, filled the bottom with maybe an inch of water, and topped the whole business of it with powdered cinnamon and dark agave syrup. I "sealed" the ramekin with a wet paper towel and microwaved it for about 2.5 minutes.

It's true that the apples boiled over, rendering the ramekin horribly sticky. It's true that the microwave had to be thoroughly cleaned. But the apple slices and simple juice in the dish were worth it. The flavor was a mixture of home-cooking, autumn and Americana, contrasted with a hint of residual, summery, fresh, fruitiness.

My after-work-snack sweet tooth was domesticated, and I am grateful and relaxed. Bonus points are being awarded here for the fiber and water content of apples: anything inclined to fill and occupy the stomach is an ally when one is faced with sating an insatiable sweet tooth and snack drive.

A Note About Granny Smith Apples

Do you know how much sugar you have to use to make Granny Smith apples palatable?!?!?!

Too much!!!!!

It is my humble (and in this case, unsentimental) opinion that the sugar requirements for Granny Smith apples are entirely too much of a bother. Health and vanity concerns aside, who wants to spend that much money sweetening a kind of fruit that's normally sweet enough to use as a sweetener? Sugar is cheap, but it's not free, so bollocks that. Bollocks all other the place. (Bad at swearing? That's okay.)

Unless one is of an especially retro mindset, and is in the mood for a dish that is one half-step removed from candy (both legitimate whims), it's better to start baked apple sweet dishes with apples that are already sweet. I have spoken.