Thursday, September 6, 2012

Hard-Hitting Journalism: When Cats Steal My Food

That's right! It is tiiiiiiiime to set the record straight.

No more puff pieces about puff pastry, no more ice-cweamy-weamy wishy-washy descriptions of what I will eat. No! Today, I must needs address a more pressing, serious issue.

WHEN CATS STEAL MY FOOD

Now, if you're reading this, chances are that you already know both of my cats' first names (hi Mom!), but for the sake of quality journalism, I'm going to lay it out for you. Their names are Leonard and Gregor.


Now Greg, he's a manx, which means that while he and Leonard have the same mother, Greg's biological father was a rabbit. But when he's stealing food, he's the much more stereotypical cat. (Perhaps to compensate?) He will lick the butter off of bread, he will lick the ice cream off of cobbler, he will even pull the old classic of sticking his little nose in your milk glass and sticking his little tongue in the milk, like he grew up watching cartoons of what cats are "supposed" to act like.

Lenny, on the other hand, despite being the more traditional-looking cat, has blown the "stealing my food" stereotypes out of the water. Ka-Bam!

Leonard once stole my broccoli, and wolfed it down before I could retrieve it. He loves carbohydrates so much that he will actually chase popcorn if you throw it, and will yum it down.

And on more than one occasion, I've seen him take a bite out of the side of an unbuttered, crusty baguette, like a rat would.

In contrast, Gregory will not EVEN put any of these foods in his mouth.

And there you have it.

Cats: Just like people, or just like cats? Only time will tell.

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