I was NOT too cowardly to buy and/or eat THIS, however. Unfortunately?

So, I didn't have the mettle to commit to a pasta-stuffed Hot Pocket, but I decided to indulge my curiosity by trying another highly commercialized food product--pumpkin pie-themed, mass-produced yogurt.

It was okay, I guess?

But it was NOT pumpkin-pie-flavored enough to deserve that title!!! It actually tasted like chai tea, kind of. At least, it tasted like it wouldn't be out-of-place being called "chai tea yogurt."

But there was no pumpkin to be identified in the flavor, which is sad, because I really like pumpkin. In fact, on more than one occasion, a couple of years ago, I'd buy a $5.99 huge pumpkin pie from Costco, and just eat that for breakfast and lunch for a week, to save money. I would typically lose a little weight and experience stabler blood sugar than usual when doing so, which indicates two things:

1. I must have been eating pretty poorly, for my body to react to an all-pie diet with "FINALLY, SOME VEGETABLES!"

2. Pumpkin pie is a truly singular pie. High in fiber, its main ingredient is hearty and nutritious vegetable pulp, and it's eggier than a fruit pie, virtually an egg custard, in its way. Pumpkin pie is a miracle food. More than any other that I've experienced, it is a healing pie

I was therefore hoping to have a proper pumpkin-themed yogurt experience. I know that the yogurt manufacturers have the technology to pull this off. They make foam yogurts! The chemists responsible for designing the flavors and textures in mass-produced yogurt products wield an intimidating power to control the food elements. And they CHOSE to label a passable chai yogurt "pumpkin pie." Perhaps just to spite me, and others like me? No. More likely out of laziness.

I respect laziness, I've been known practice laziness (especially while asleep), and I don't want to resent the Yoplait chemists for taking laziness to the next level. But on this occasion, I kinda do.