Even green beans can't save you now!!!

I know that this blog looks a "certain way."

It implies that I hold myself to a strict dietary regimen of biodegradable packing peanuts and astronaut foods, with an occasional gourmet toothpaste for desert.

And it would be right.

(I mean, prove me wrong! Are YOU watching me eat all the time?!? Even my husband doesn't do that.)

However, sometimes it's important to eat a huge quantity of actual food all in one sitting, so that the next two days of all-candy feel justified. Something dark green, because that's where the vitamins live.

MOREOVER, sometimes it's important to try to lose another 15 vanity pounds, to prepare for a summer's worth of nerd conventions. Gotta start now, while it's barely springtime!!!

(Jealous moment of jealousy, being jealous of the women whose bone structure lets them carry whatever BMI they want, without losing their facial symmetry or nice jawline. But I am what I am, and I do what I do with what I can, regarding what I am.)

And so, in the spirit of vitamin deficiency and halfhearted vanity that I bring to you... GREEN BEANS!!!

Everybody knows that frozen vegetables are more nutrient-dense than their room-temperature grocery store counterparts, because they're picked and Han Soloed when they're actually ripe, not when they're underripe and travel-ready.

I also like frozen vegetables because I don't have to remember what day it is. I don't have to remember when I purchased them. I don't EVEN have to remember to wash them! (Is this correct?)

So, here's what I do with frozen green beans:

1. Fill a pot with water, add a generous amount of salt and a good drizzle of the cooking oil of your choice, and get that to boiling on the stovetop. Like you do with pasta!

2. Once it's boiling, throw all the frozen green beans that you want in there, as long as there's enough water to make it work. Like you do with pasta!

3. Wait for everything to resume boiling, like you'd do with pasta.

4. Boil the green beans for around 8-11 minutes, or whatever, also like you'd do with pasta.

5. In a manner identical to handling pasta, you drain that stuff through a colander, and figure out what you want to do next.

...

Lately, I've been keeping the water both salty and greasy enough that the green beans are downright alright as-is, once they've been drained and have also cooled enough to eat.

But if you skimped on the salt or oil, go for it now!!! Add some butter, add some spices, do whatever it is that you do.

Today, I tossed in some slivered almonds. Just like that! It's that easy! It really is. You just own some almonds and then you eat them, it's true. And you can too! Unless you are allergic. In which case, don't do that. Don't do things that you are allergic to. Please.

Anyway

I made the food, then I ate it, and then I resumed getting ready for work.

EXCELLENT!!!