***WARNING: THIS BLOG POST WILL CONTAIN SOME EUPHEMISTIC AND BARELY RECOGNIZABLE REFERENCES TO HUMAN BODY PART AND SEXUALITY STUFF***
Okay, so...
Um...
This is not the best toilet paper in the world. It serves its primary function--known as "you know...toilet stuff"--perfectly well.
But as other folks (including Neil deGrasse Tyson) have already stated very eloquently on a number of occasions, you know, something about "sewer located in the middle of an entertainment center" something-something.
This toilet paper leaves tiny little paper "snowflakes" behind wherever it goes. Even my face looks dusty, if/when I use it to remove makeup. In fact, I don't use it to remove makeup. I have temporarily switched to using cotton balls to remove eye makeup, thanks to this toilet paper.
Therefore, something-something-something, "eating," blah-blah-blah, "toilet paper," yadda-yadda, do yourself a favor and invest in something that doesn't leave papery pills and dust behind. You're worth it.
Note to Quilted Northern:
PLEASE FIX THIS PROBLEM WITH YOUR PRODUCT!!!!!!! I hate giving bad reviews. I hate even just disliking things. But I wrote this blog post because, well, yeah, because I thought it was funny, but also because I needed to give myself a memorable reminder to refrain from buying this particular toilet paper again.
That's a bad sign, and it didn't have to be this way.
You know what to do: product testing and tighter quality control methods.
Seriously.
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