Friday, June 20, 2014

Screw it, I like mayonnaise

I like mayonnaise. I do. Of the people I eat meals with, I'm the one who likes it the most. 

I know a few people who are grossed out by mayonnaise. I think that it's probably more cool, more fashionable, to snub it? Or maybe, folks just genuinely dislike when eggs are whisked into oil and vinegar, or whatever mayonnaise is made with, I dunno. And salt. There's probably still salt in it when it's homemade. I could look it up, but if you're reading this then you're already online, so look it up for yourself, why don't you?



Depicted in this photograph is a sandwich that has too much mayonnaise on it, too much cheese, and too much salt. The bread and tomato were overpowered, and the whole thing was a disappointment, particularly when I reflect on the sandwich that almost was; the sandwich that could have been. I tried to add more tomato, but then the cheese started falling out, and even then there was too much cheese, so I doused it in salt for reasons that I fail to remember right now, and what I'm trying to tell you is that the whole thing was a disaster. It just unraveled very quickly, was killed by the little details that went wrong.

But "the sandwich that could have been" would still, you know, have fairly generous mayonnaise.

Here is a picture of the bottle of mayonnaise I used:


Here is the ingredients list, and the nutritional information, from the back of the bottle. It's blurry, but that's just life sometimes.


Here is a screenshot, after Googling this subject:


Don't worry, though. Of all the white people out there, I am probably the most mayonnaise-inclined white person I've ever met, but I do not actually eat sandwiches that just consist of mayonnaise on bread. I'm pretty sure that whole idea was just a dramatic liberty taken in the movie Undercover Brother. Pretty sure.

...I hope so, anyway. God, I hope so.

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