If you are not familiar with D&D, well, go and fix that. You're already using the internet. You have to go online to read this, because these words are on a website.
In our house, D&D night has the intensity and snack-seriousness of a poker night, but with "fight the dragon!" heavy metal undertones.
And so tonight, I am keeping things legit. I mean, you know who cares about food and dragons? How about Tyrion Lannister. That dude's culinary palate is, like, 1/8th of George R R Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire books. How about EVERY HOBBIT EVER?!?!?! Caring about food and caring about dragons are, like, two sides of the same gp. (Google "gp" too.)
What kind of food? OLD-TIMEY FOOD!!! What kind of food? LIKE BREADS AND CHEESE, I THINK!!!
Tonight, I did my best to keep this scenario both proper and legit:
Not Cheese:
We have small red grapes. They are sweet and amazing, except for the grapes on the one inexplicably wrinkly, old branch. Why does that always happen?!? I bought the grapes minutes before serving them. Huuuunhhhh graaaaaAAAAAAPESSSSSS!!!!!!!
We have Columbus dry Italian salame. (That is how they spell it on the packaging.) I added this to the spread after the cheeses, and after the grapes, but before the bread. It's greasy (good greasy), satisfying, barely spiced, and hearty. I served it at room temperature.
We have red pepper and cheddar cheese foicica, heated in the toaster oven until passable as oven-fresh. I was skeptical, but oh man, I cannot argue with the results I got. That bread is goooood.
Is Cheese:
We have goat Gouda, which has been complimented by a guest on being very mild, and "not goaty." It's the mildest cheese of the three, by far, and is wonderfully creamy and round-tasting. I do not know which creamery is responsible for the cheese, because I purchased it from the "discount, posh cheeses bin" in a QFC, and the only label I found was the sale price.
We have a rosemary and olive oil asiago. It's smooth, sweet, and surprisingly easy to slice. It's not any more crumbly than medium yellow cheddar, so, my guess is that it must be young. This cheese also tastes milder than other asiago cheeses I've had, which tend to be older, crumblier, saltier, and similar in flavor to typically-served Parmesan. In this cheese, the rosemary is subtle, but detectable. While its flavor is strongest on the rosemary-leaf-encrusted crust, the less-herbed areas are no less delicious. Thank you again, sale-priced cheese bin!
Lastly but not leastly, we have whatever this label says:
It has fuzzy grey-green caves in it that you're not supposed to let your eyes focus on, because cheese mold is as horrifying as it is nutritious. I assume. Depending on who you are. This cheese is creamy, pungent, salty, and a liiiiittle bit spicy. Spicy, of all things! It is the strongest-tasting of the three cheeses I've served for this D&D group. It is very good. Still gentler on the tongue than most veined cheeses I've had, without losing its meaning of purpose. I took off my glasses to improve the blurriness of my eyesight, and then I ate a lot of this cheese.
D&D NIIIIGHT RULES!!!!!!!!!!
Also, please click on this link. It is for a YouTube:
I didn't make it, and am in no way affiliated with it, beyond being a music fan. However, Red Fang's video for their song "Prehistoric Dog," while technically not being about D&D, fits the D&D "for not kids, or teenagers, guys" mood.
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