Lemon Bars Replenish the Electrolytes Lost While Making Lemon Bars

Let's take a moment to really let this title sink in. To bask in the goodness and truthiness* of its claim:

Lemon Bars Replenish the Electrolytes Lost While Making Lemon Bars

Now, I know what you're thinking. "What the Hell is an electrolyte, and what does it have to do with me?!?" Well, here jackass, get some NIH science in you.

Can I guarantee that these lemon bars have electrolytes in them? Uh, yeah, probably, I think. I mean, I figure it's got baking soda, which is supposed to count. It's got, like, lemon juice. And it has two of the essential sugars--granulated AND powdered. It even has eggs, and those probably do something cool. Right? I mean, they're eggs. Nature's... Nature's Powerbar or nature's ovum or something. Dinosaurs and weasels eat them. Eggs are fucking good for you.

I made lemon bars today because it's summer and it's hot out and as an exercise buff I needed the electrolytes because I walked about a whopping 2 1/2 miles at a nice, leisurely pace today. I know, right?!? All the way to AND FROM the bus stop.

The recipe I used is a good one, too. It's the "Gabrielle's Lemon Squares" recipe from Mark Bittman's How To Cook Everything, which I'm very glad to have in my kitchen.

In fact, I'm such a fan of pressuring people into buying books that I'm not going to provide the recipe in this post. Go to a bookstore and buy yourself the book. There's an app, but don't buy that until you've bought at least two copies of the actual book, in hard copy. Buy a few extra books while you're at it. I'm pretty sure that books are full of electrolytes. I mean, all that ink has to do SOMETHING if you chew it into a bolus and hold it under your tongue like a sublingual medication. Not that I endorse eating books. Unless you buy a second or third copy to read, in which case just knock yourself out, you fuckin' freak. Really. Just buy from a little local book shop if you can. One of the good ones. Vote with those fucking dollars.

Right.

Here's a picture of the lemon bars that I made about an hour ago. A friend once complimented me on how bold it is to take unflattering photos of food for this blog, and I've opted to believe that this really WAS a compliment. So please, enjoy the totally authentic shadow of my phone, as I took this phone photo of the dish of lemon bars. Aww yeah.

*The word "truthiness" was used here in homage to Stephen Colbert.